Five Phrases that Destroy Ministry

I realized this week that I have been fully invested in ministry for seven years.  Seven years seems like a long time, but in many regards I still feel like a beginner.  As I reflect on my experiences over the last few years, I am blown away by how much I've learned as I have experienced different positions.

2007

2010

2013

Through these experiences I have made many mistakes and said a lot of things that are potentially hazardous in ministry.  These are all phrases that I have used that I am trying to move beyond so that I can be more productive on ministry teams in the future.

1.) "I" 
"I planned an amazing event!"  "I had a great large group program this weekend."  "I use this curriculum."  

The word "I" has it's place in our vocabulary, but seldom do we realize how it changes the dynamics of conversations from what a ministry team is doing well to what the individual is doing well.  When we constantly are starting sentences with "I" in meetings, while planning, and during discussions it casts the perception that the ministry is all about me.  Imagine what would happen if we shifted the focus to "we".  "We planned an amazing event!"  "Our large group team pulled off a flawless program this service."  "Our team likes to use this curriculum because we've seen huge growth in our kids!"

2.) "We don't do that" 
"That's a great idea, but we don't do that here."

Working in the constraints of ministry is nothing new.  There are hurdles to overcome in all churches and organizations.  However, saying, "We don't do that" doesn't create a hurdle, it creates a brick wall.  Instead of automatically saying "No",  what if we changed the way we interacted by saying things like, "We've never done it that way before."  "Our budget is too tight this year."  "We don't have the training to accomplish that right now."  You never know how a team can work together to get over hurdles together.  Teams are forced to come up with creative solutions to problems instead of tossing their ideas aside because their ideas seem too expensive, difficult, or unattainable.

3.) "Just" 
"She's just a counselor."  "He's just in the choir."  "They're just volunteers." 

The word just may slip out when you're referring to a group or role that someone has, but we don't realize how powerful our words can be.  Saying that someone is just in the choir or just a volunteer devalues their commitment to a group or a team.  It may be something that you say in a moment to refer to someone's role, but I have noticed that as I change my vocabulary in these instances I start to see people in a different way.  I start to see them not for what they bring to the table, not for what they are lacking.

4.) "I am exhausted"
"I would love to add that to our calendar, but I'm just so exhausted, I don't think we could do one more thing!"

Ministry burn out is real, and it is crippling to a team.  We can't always rely on weekends, time off, or slow times during the year to fill up our tanks.  When I am exhausted and I feel like my plate is too full, it's too late.  Instead, we need to focus on stopping this problem before we feel like we're pushed to the edge of our limits.  Before getting to this point, let's make our emotional, spiritual, and physical health a priority so we can better lead our teams.  To avoid burn out, let's be honest about how we feel before it's too late.  "My schedule is packed this week, can we figure out a way to equip a volunteer to do this instead?"  "I was planning on taking a day off on Friday, can we reschedule this meeting to Monday?"  "This is a huge job, how can we break it up into smaller pieces?"

5.) "I don't know"  
"I don't know where your child's meeting is."  "I don't know what time that event starts"

Parents, volunteers, and students come to us as ministry leaders with a wide variety of questions.  These questions vary from "Where is the restroom?"  to "How can I be a spiritual leader to my family?"  Oftentimes, we don't have an exact answer to some of the questions we're asked during ministry time.  Instead of saying, "I don't know"  I have found that we minister to others best when we find the answer with someone."  "I'm not sure where you can pay this deposit, but I can ask someone who knows right now."  "I think you can sign up today, but let's check the website right now to be sure."  "That's a tough question, let me spend some time researching your question and we can talk about it next week."  In these situations we can insure that we are meeting people's needs, and we are learning how to better serve others in the process.

I hope these mistakes I've made in the past can empower you and your team to be better equipped for ministry!