On the 2016 Election Results

To my fellow Christians who are surprised by the election results, please remember to put on love this morning.  Show humbleness, grace, and forgiveness to those around you.  We show our faith through our love, not our political affiliation.  Others will know who we worship by how, when, and who we love.

To my friends who are Hispanic and Latino, I am sorry for the offensive words spoken over you during this election.

To my friends who are Black, I am sorry for the way you have been spoken down to, generalized, and misrepresented.

To my friends who are Muslim, I am so sorry for the hateful rhetoric that has been centered on you and your faith.

To my friends who are immigrants or aliens, I am sorry for the fear you may be facing instead of being embraced by our nation.

To my friends who are a part of the LGBTQ community, I am sorry you have been alienated, hurt, and let down by this political system.

To my friends who have survived sexual assault or abuse, I am sorry that you have experienced the trauma of your past through the disgusting words and actions that have been made front page news.

To my fellow women, I am sorry that we have still not been given a chance to break the glass ceiling, that you are not fairly compensated or promoted for your work, and that this year we didn't make history in the way you may have hoped.

Praying for the grace, mercy, and peace of Christ to be with us all.

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Confidence Vs. Comparison

As a third generation Italian, I know many things to be true.  First, you should never purchase pasta that comes in a can (I'm looking at you, Chef Boyardee).  Second, plucking your eyebrows every day is a must unless you want to have one eyebrow across your entire face.  Finally, what I think is an acceptable volume of communication must be lowered by several decibels to match what others think is an acceptable volume. Growing up in a household full of loud, passionate people must have skewed my understanding of what other people would consider normal.  

Normal.  Growing up, that is all I desired to be.  Someone who fit in to her surroundings.  I felt as though I stuck out for a variety of reasons.  For the aforementioned loudness that seemed to always be getting me in trouble, the fact that I had a twin sister, a carbon copy if you will, who in addition to being my best friend was almost like a measuring stick that people used for comparison.  

"You look shorter than your sister."  

"Your sister is beautiful and you are just cute." 

"You are not as smart, athletic, popular, nice, insert adjective here than your sister."  

I loved the way I grew up, and the fact that I always had a friend in my twin, but I didn't realize the weight of comparison that had become ingrained in my everyday life.

The struggles of comparison and desire to fit in would follow me much past my days on the playground in elementary school.  As I grew up I remember having a longing to belong to a group, to feel like I had found my people.  I craved acceptance from those around me, and that would often only come when I changed the way I dressed, talked, or acted to suit those around me.  I remember feeling exhausted from constantly trying to please the passing friends that would walk in and out of my life.

Time and time again I realized that trying to fit in only lasted so long.  I had the feeling that I didn't quite measure up, or that I didn't belong. Wanting to be accepted and to belong is inherent in our nature as humans.  We are wired to crave love and friendship, to do life with each other.  We are created to want more, do more, be more, and that causes conflict in our in-most being because it creates a feeling of dissatisfaction with who we are now.  When we are always looking at what we will do next, where we are going tomorrow, or what we will be when we grow up it can overshadow what God has in store for us today.  

The truth is, God designed us with a specific plan in mind.  We were called to him to accomplish his purpose, not to fit into the molds that have been created in those around us.  

"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." (Ephesians 1:11-12). 

We can rest in the joy of just being who we are, instead of comparing ourselves to what we see around us. The truth of his word is that we don't need to fit in to find security in who we are.  You can find confidence in Christ instead of who you are trying to be.  There is nothing you can do or be to impress God. His word reveals that you glorify God by being who he made you to be.

What does this mean for us? We need to be sure to spend time asking Him what He has in store for us, and what He desires from us and for us each day.  We can trust that we were created the way we are for a reason.  I tend to be loud, and unafraid to voice my opinion.  Instead of feeling like that is something I should try to sensor, I can acknowledge that my desire to use my voice is from God, and that it can be used to build his church.  When we find confidence and strength in who we are, we will be vessels to glorify God and share His truth and love with those around us in whatever way He desires.

Spend time talking to God.  Thank Him for the unique qualities he gave you, even when those qualities seem to alienate you from those around you!  The different quirks might just be the extra qualifications that God has given you for the mission he has placed before you.  We can find confidence in who we are, who He created us to be, and how He has equipped us for His calling.

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Linoleum and Home Improvement

Today I'm signing in to share some thoughts about our recent home project, and the floor finishing that I can't wait to renovate- 30 year old linoleum.  Oh Linoleum, this wonderous floor covering hailed in the 1970's for its beauty and convenience.  By today's standards there is nothing more horrid than having even a few square feet of it in your home.  Don't believe me?  Just watch a few episodes of house hunters!  

Today my husband and I embarked on a milestone in our home!  We started renovating the last room in our house, the downstairs bathroom.  Our plan was to rip up the floor, tile, paint, and add new finishes.  I was so excited to get rid of the remains from the old owners of the house, and put our own spin on the room.  

After we took out the toilet and vanity, I started pull up the floor.  I was so excited because it seemed to come up relatively pain free!  After scoring it with a knife I started pulling on the corners of the plastic and the flooring started to come up no sweat! But as it is with most home projects, what we think will be a quick fix turns into a painstaking process of removing the old before embarking on the new.  

There is a big part of me that is completely overwhelmed when projects don't go my way, but this is the part of home renovation that makes me the most proud at the finish line.  I can't help it!  I love progress, I love watching transformation, even when it means adhesive glue is stuck to every inch of clothing on my body.  You see, I had just peeled back the first layer of the linoleum.  It turns out that there were several more layers of thin paper glued to the floor that needed to be removed. 

Old Linoleum

New Tile Floor

As I watched my husband chip away at the paper backing that refuses to budge, I was reminded of how  important progress is, even when it's slow, even when we feel like we're not getting anywhere, and especially when it's messy.  It is not a physical issue, it's a heart issue.  It's the stuff life is made of: daily battles to plow through the junk of our souls to be able to lay a new foundation. (And we're not just talking about new ceramic tile here!) 

"Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,  and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" (Ephesians 4:17-24 ESV). 

The truth of the gospel is clear.  Christ died to reconcile, but God still desires to do more work in us.  Keeping the junk, the bad habits, the secrets and hidden parts of our souls that are the equivalent of an old linoleum bathroom floor in a house that has been made new.  Although we will never run out of projects to tackle (1 John 1:8) We should be honest with ourselves about the areas of our lives that we haven't fully surrendered; that still look like our old selves.  May we focus on what God is producing in us.  May we not shy away from becoming more like Him.  And, may we feel renewed, as God's precious creations worthy of  His calling.  

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Thoughts on Pregnancy

The past seven months of pregnancy have flown by.  I can hardly believe there are just a few more weeks until we get to meet our child!  I am filled with thoughts about what kind of person our baby will be.  Will he or she be athletic?  A book worm?  A class clown?  Will our child look like me or more like my husband?  These are all questions I ask myself every day as I feel our child kick or move.  

One thing that has surprised me about this pregnancy is how we decided not to find out the gender of our child.  At first I thought I would need to know as soon as possible!  I need to prepare!  The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that finding out the gender wasn't the most important aspect of this pregnancy.  It would be fun to know to create the perfect nursery, buy the perfect clothing, and come up with the perfect name, but in reality none of that has any real significance.  I tend to focus too much on perfection.  In in this small way, not knowing the gender is helping me to learn to accept whatever it is that's coming my way.

Ultrasound Picture, Second Trimester

Our baby's foot! 

When people ask us if we are having a boy or a girl I am usually met with people's opinions on our decision...

"That is so great!"  

"What a fun surprise!" 

"I don't know how you could not know!"  And my personal favorite, 

"But how will you know what clothes to buy?"  

The response I receive the most though is
"Well it doesn't matter as long as it's healthy!"

I have come to cringe at that response.  It's not that I don't wish for a healthy child, or grieve when I have friends who go through disease or illness with their young children.  It's just that have come to resent the thought that the health of a child is what matters most.  I have had the pleasure of knowing families who have wonderful children who are not "healthy" by today's standards.  Some are born with disabilities, or special needs.  Some are born too early, with lungs or hearts that are not fully developed or working properly.  Some have even lost their children moments after they have entered our world.

I understand why people say that.  Everyone wants their child to have the best chance at living life to the fullest, but I believe that God has given us children for his plans and purposes.  There is nothing we can do to but to accept the life that he has entrusted into our care.  Our job as parents is to love them well, regardless of any other factor.  If my child doesn't have ten fingers and ten toes we will still choose to love him or her.  If he or she has a disability, I will celebrate in the unique way God has made them.  I will learn to lean on God no matter what he gives our child, no matter what situations surround his or her birth and young life.

This lesson has really been impressed on my heart, which is probably good to learn now, before our child enters this world.  I don't know what God's plan for us or our child is, but regardless, the most important thing is that we will get through whatever comes our way through faith and reliance on Him before anything else.  

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When Leaders are at Their Best

Today I am reflecting on thoughts from Courageous Leadership by Bill Hybels.  This book contains reflections of his leadership lessons learned from years of experience in ministry.  It has been a fantastic read for those of you who are passionate about growing the church and leadership development.

  As I was reading today, I came across a great question Hybles posed.

"When are leaders at their best?"  

As I reflected on his question, I thought about leaders that I have learned from and when they had been the most influential to myself and others.  Could it be when they are passionate about what they are investing in?  When they find the sweet spot between what they love and what they are gifted in?  When they achieve their goals or accomplish a standard of excellence?

Hybels' compelling answer, was "I think leaders are at their very best when they are raising up leaders around them."

I believe this idea is what true leadership means.  If you are not influencing those around you and inspiring leaders to take the reigns, what is the point?  That is the difference between accomplishing a task and being a true leader.  This is how Jesus lead.  He deeply invested in a core group of 12 men to carry out the future of the church and to spread it across the nations.

Today I am thankful for the leaders that believed in me and encouraged me in my journey.  I am thankful for the small group leaders, instructors, youth pastors, volunteers, and directors who have shepherded me and inspired me with their vision and passion.  I am thankful that I was given a chance to lead others in a ministry so long ago.  Finally, I am blessed and honored to continue in this legacy of bringing up future church leaders of the church.

I encourage you all to dive into this book and talk about it with your teams.  Where are we leading courageously, and where do we fall short?  Are we bringing up future leaders or just crossing things off our to-do lists?

May you find joy and peace in leading others by creating future leaders.

Purchase this book for you and your team here.

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Five Phrases that Destroy Ministry

I realized this week that I have been fully invested in ministry for seven years.  Seven years seems like a long time, but in many regards I still feel like a beginner.  As I reflect on my experiences over the last few years, I am blown away by how much I've learned as I have experienced different positions.

2007

2010

2013

Through these experiences I have made many mistakes and said a lot of things that are potentially hazardous in ministry.  These are all phrases that I have used that I am trying to move beyond so that I can be more productive on ministry teams in the future.

1.) "I" 
"I planned an amazing event!"  "I had a great large group program this weekend."  "I use this curriculum."  

The word "I" has it's place in our vocabulary, but seldom do we realize how it changes the dynamics of conversations from what a ministry team is doing well to what the individual is doing well.  When we constantly are starting sentences with "I" in meetings, while planning, and during discussions it casts the perception that the ministry is all about me.  Imagine what would happen if we shifted the focus to "we".  "We planned an amazing event!"  "Our large group team pulled off a flawless program this service."  "Our team likes to use this curriculum because we've seen huge growth in our kids!"

2.) "We don't do that" 
"That's a great idea, but we don't do that here."

Working in the constraints of ministry is nothing new.  There are hurdles to overcome in all churches and organizations.  However, saying, "We don't do that" doesn't create a hurdle, it creates a brick wall.  Instead of automatically saying "No",  what if we changed the way we interacted by saying things like, "We've never done it that way before."  "Our budget is too tight this year."  "We don't have the training to accomplish that right now."  You never know how a team can work together to get over hurdles together.  Teams are forced to come up with creative solutions to problems instead of tossing their ideas aside because their ideas seem too expensive, difficult, or unattainable.

3.) "Just" 
"She's just a counselor."  "He's just in the choir."  "They're just volunteers." 

The word just may slip out when you're referring to a group or role that someone has, but we don't realize how powerful our words can be.  Saying that someone is just in the choir or just a volunteer devalues their commitment to a group or a team.  It may be something that you say in a moment to refer to someone's role, but I have noticed that as I change my vocabulary in these instances I start to see people in a different way.  I start to see them not for what they bring to the table, not for what they are lacking.

4.) "I am exhausted"
"I would love to add that to our calendar, but I'm just so exhausted, I don't think we could do one more thing!"

Ministry burn out is real, and it is crippling to a team.  We can't always rely on weekends, time off, or slow times during the year to fill up our tanks.  When I am exhausted and I feel like my plate is too full, it's too late.  Instead, we need to focus on stopping this problem before we feel like we're pushed to the edge of our limits.  Before getting to this point, let's make our emotional, spiritual, and physical health a priority so we can better lead our teams.  To avoid burn out, let's be honest about how we feel before it's too late.  "My schedule is packed this week, can we figure out a way to equip a volunteer to do this instead?"  "I was planning on taking a day off on Friday, can we reschedule this meeting to Monday?"  "This is a huge job, how can we break it up into smaller pieces?"

5.) "I don't know"  
"I don't know where your child's meeting is."  "I don't know what time that event starts"

Parents, volunteers, and students come to us as ministry leaders with a wide variety of questions.  These questions vary from "Where is the restroom?"  to "How can I be a spiritual leader to my family?"  Oftentimes, we don't have an exact answer to some of the questions we're asked during ministry time.  Instead of saying, "I don't know"  I have found that we minister to others best when we find the answer with someone."  "I'm not sure where you can pay this deposit, but I can ask someone who knows right now."  "I think you can sign up today, but let's check the website right now to be sure."  "That's a tough question, let me spend some time researching your question and we can talk about it next week."  In these situations we can insure that we are meeting people's needs, and we are learning how to better serve others in the process.

I hope these mistakes I've made in the past can empower you and your team to be better equipped for ministry!

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Remembering the Sabbath and the Importance of Rest

I love summer.  The snow has melted, the sun is up early and goes down late, and the pace of life seems different.  Adding to this slowed down cadence for me is the life change of a new job and a few weeks of rest before I jump into something new.  With that, I have really started to reflect on the meaning of rest, or the Sabbath in God’s Word.

Picture from our summer vacation to Sleeping Bear Dunes

This idea of a day of rest begins in the Old Testament.  “By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.  Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.” (Genesis 2:3).  

We see the importance of this day of rest again in Exodus 20:11, “For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” 

Moses commands the Israelites to observe the Sabbath in Deuteronomy 5:15.  He encourages them to remember that the Lord brought them out of slavery and therefore they should observe this day.  

When we look at these three instances of Sabbath rest, we see the importance of God’s people remembering three things.  First, that God is the creator.  He is the maker of all things.  Second, that God rescued them from slavery.  God is the one that freed them from captivity.  Finally, that God delivered them from the hands of their enemies.  These three ideas will strengthen their faith and help them to remain obedient to God’s commands. 

In contrast to the Old Testament Sabbath Law, the New Testament preaches a different idea.  In Colossians, Paul calls the Christian believers not to pass judgment on anyone if they choose or don’t choose to observe the Sabbath (Colossians 2:16-17).  Instead, he calls the church to focus on the reality of Christ Jesus.  

The Sabbath day of rest was God’s command to the Israelites, not to the New Testament church. 

Because Jesus came to fulfill the law, we are free from the bondage of that Law (Romans 6:14).    As Christians, our call is to worship God every day- not just one day a week.  In fact, we see Jesus reminding the Pharisees that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath (Mark 2:27).  

What does this mean for us?  Does this mean we are to storm the gates of Hobby Lobby and Chick Fillet demanding chicken sandwiches and discount craft supplies on Sunday afternoons?  Not exactly. 

We can learn how to honor God through Paul’s words to the church in Rome.  “One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind” (Romans 14:5). 

Instead of ritually observing the Sabbath Day of rest, we can honor God through how we use our time. We need to set aside time to be fully focused on God, and not all the distractions that surround us.   We need to make time to meet together as Christians.  The early church in Acts 2 made a habit of breaking bread together and spending time in fellowship.  Imagine what our churches would look like if we set time aside during our week to grow together in faith. 

God wants us to rest in Him.  He calls us to cast our cares on Him and he will sustain us (Psalm 55:22).  We can not sustain our lives, our jobs, our families, and our desires on our own.  We have to not only invite God in to our lives, but we need to trust and rest in His power above our own- and that includes trusting him to provide when we take a few minutes, hours, or days off from the grind of our every day lives. 

So join me this week as I take a break, avoid the distractions of every day life, and feel the restoration that Christ offers each one of us. 

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